


The Ketchup Incident

by PaperThinRevolutionary (SingFortissimo)



Series: King's College [7]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: King's College Series, based on true happenings, because not everything in the series needs to be shippy, time for some shitposts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-26 00:32:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7553206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SingFortissimo/pseuds/PaperThinRevolutionary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“If you <i>ever</i> breathe a word of this to another soul, I will disembowel you both.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ketchup Incident

Now, if you asked them why they had landed themselves in a little cafe at 11pm on a school night, even they couldn’t give you a good answer. But that’s exactly where they were, sitting in a corner booth in a little diner downtown, at 11pm on a Wednesday night. Sometimes they just needed shitty diner food. Who didn’t?

So when they squeezed together, John and Hercules on one side of the booth, and Lafayette on the other, the only thing that they knew for sure was that they needed cheap diner food, immediately. 

John had just finished a late night of extremely boring classes, his final one releasing at 9.30pm, and that was still an early release. He wasn’t supposed to be out until 10. Herc had earlier classes, and Laf had the day off, so he had spent the majority of it just relaxing and watching stupid videos online (the other two were sure he would have an assortment of them to share that following weekend, when they had their group get-together). John was already on some tangent, bitching about how terrible his theory teacher was (this was nothing new), and Hercules was just humoring him by listening, occasionally popping in with a grunted agreement or a small laugh at how passionate John could get when he truly, deeply hated somebody. 

They placed their usual orders, Hercules getting two eggs (over easy), hashbrowns, and toast which Lafayette would steal from him, Lafayette getting some oversized monstrosity of a hamburger which he would eat quicker than anyone of his stature should be able to and a strawberry shake, and John got whatever the diner special was, as well as a cup of coffee. 

Just a normal meal. 

Once John was done with his tangent, finally settling to sip at his coffee (black, two sugars), they made their way into different conversations effortlessly. The first was, of course, where had Alexander gone. John explained the situation with a noncommittal shrug and a sigh; “He’s in the library until it closes tonight, I’m taking food back for him. He’s got a huge project due in two weeks, and you know how he gets.” 

The other men nodded and hummed, taking this answer easily. It was true, Alex did have a fun habit of shutting out the world when he needed to work. So they decided to just let it be, save for John occasionally checking his phone to make sure that Alex didn’t need him for anything. He got a message from Alex here and there, when something of interest would pop up in his studies, but nothing of any drastic importance, no life or death emergency messages (thank god). 

Soon enough, Laf was reaching across the table and grabbing for the glass bottle of ketchup, tapping at the little ’57’ on the neck of it after flipping it over his plate. Of course, the glass bottles being as they were, this didn’t do much, and he continued knocking at it every few seconds to urge the goop onto his plate. Soon, he seemed to have lost focus, and joined more in on the conversation that Hercules and John had found themselves in yet again, something about rallying and protests. 

Laf looked at them both and raised one of his perfect brows, letting a small bark of a laugh leave his lips. “Do you really think that’s the best way that we can fix all of this, Laurens, darling? After all, just look at the mess that was left behind downtown when people decided to march. It was a disaster. And the mayoral council didn’t even bat an eye. It would be better to continue your writing work with Alexander even, rather than destroy downtown with a bunch of rowdy people who do not even know the cause that they gather for. You know as well as I do that it will end in stupidity, just as it did last time you went.” Laf’s tone was matter of fact, no room for argument. He was right, of course, the last rally John had attended was nothing but a disaster zone, before and after, and the majority of his time had turned from whatever the cause was that evening, to picking up after the people who just wanted a riot the next day. So he sighed and shrugged. 

“You’re right, Laf. I’ll think of something better, then.”

“Of course I’m right, John! I always am!” He grinned widely and flicked his hands in emphasis. 

Naturally, his focus had shifted just enough that he forgot what he held in his hands, and soon, well… 

When Lafayette looked at them, eyes wide, they couldn’t help but double over in their laughter. There was their best friend, always so prim and proper in his ways, looking absolutely flabbergasted, with hands raised in surrender. The ketchup bottle was still in one of them. The look on his face was unbelievable, and John and Herc both knew that the image would be in their mind for the rest of their lives. 

There he was, Lafayette in all his glory, covered in ketchup. It was on his shirt, pants, face, hell, even in his hair. Not to mention on the table and the floor, and by the grace of god, on the fucking _ceiling_. Somehow, it had missed John, Hercules, and their drinks, entirely.

Laf’s jaw had dropped as soon as he realized what had just happened. 

His cheeks had flushed dark red, and he looked up between John and Hercules, who were trying desperately to stifle their laughter. It wasn’t working. 

Lafayette managed to gain his composure just enough to suck in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“If you _ever_ breathe a word of this to another soul, I will disembowel you both.”

They knew the threat wasn’t empty. 

But at least now, whenever Laf would get too cocky, all they had to do was look at him and say “ketchup”. It was the best trump card they could have ever wished for.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello hello beautiful people ! I know it's been a while since i've given anything for the main KCS universe, but here we are! It isn't shippy or anything, but i've been meaning to write it for a long while anyway
> 
> See this actually happened to me and my buddies a while back and it's still one of the funniest things that i have ever witnessed, and i know you guys probably won't think it's as funny as i do but hey, i gotta be a little self indulgent every now and then right? 
> 
> I'll try to get some good content out soon enough, I have a lot to get done for this universe and just... Very little time to actually focus but i might get more out this week. I hope. No promises though <3 
> 
> Anyway this is dedicated to my laf and herc, Franco and Casey. My babes. The ones who experienced this with me, our infamous ketchup incident. Ah, the golden years of college, am I right?
> 
> Until next time, hit me up @paperthinrevolutionary on tumblr! 
> 
> -Krys


End file.
